Dating and.. Thanksgiving?

Yesterday I went on a date for the first time in awhile. It was actually pretty nice. His name is T.J. and we went to Panera Bread. Yummy!

He's actually a nice guy that I could see myself settling down with. He wasn't the best looking guy in the world but nice looking. He's really sweet too. He is a gentleman. Paid for my food and walked me to my car and gave me a hug. He was kinda short and just not the typical guy I usually date. He's also not in college which kind of bothers me. Am I lowering my standards, am I just being superficial? I've never really dated before since I've always had a long term boyfriends. What do you look for in a guys your dating? Are you looking for a good dad or good husband? I'm 20 now should I look to be settling down?

We've kept in contact so I'll keep everyone updated if anything else goes on.

I went to my grandma's house yesterday. It was pretty nice since I hadn't been there in a long time. She was sort of hinting towards me moving and living with her. I love my grandma and I know she's starting to feel lonely since she is all by herself but I'm loving my independence! I don't want to give that up so easily. Especially after working so hard for it. Am I wrong?

I am so thankful for thanksgiving. I had the best sleep ever last night. It was so nice waking up away from home, away from the bills, away from just everything even for just the night. I got up and ate a yummy "everything" bagel with crunchy peanut better.

I remember when I was little getting up in the morning at my grandma house. She would either make me a bowl of lucky charms cereal or a piece of chunky peanut butter toast. I was so happy to waking up at my grandma house. Eating my yummy breakfast while watching my cartoons is such a good memory. It never get's old.

After my breakfast I get ready to go to my great  aunt Kathy's. We always go to my aunt Kathy's. It was so good! My favorite is always the cheesy potatoes and beef and noodles. Yum. I'm starting to get hungry again. I just have so much to be thankful for and it's easy to forget.

I am so thankful for my family. I've had such a good life so far. I have a wonderful family and food in front of me. A roof over my head and little kitties I adore. Can you imagine what life would be like without thanksgiving? It would probably be the same as everyday but I'm glad we have it. It's a good day when I get to see my whole family together getting along, happy, and enjoying the amazing food that we feast upon. I can't wait till next year. Thanksgiving never last's long enough for me.

Journal 2 ( November 24, 2010)

Honestly I hate being a Debbie downer. It's annoying and lately I feel like I'm Debbie. Poor Debbie. She must feel like crap.

My biggest fear as of right now is that someone I know will find my profile, read it and know it's me. That freaks me out! I've told nobody what I'm saying right now and I rather not start now. I made this profile to share my experience in college. This is all so new to me and I like documenting. Even though I may not be the best writer I still try and make the best of it. I said in my first blog that I'm a happy person. I just have a lot of insecurities and fears to deal with now that I live on my own.

One of those fears is not being able to pay my bills on time. It's scary. I dread opening the mailbox to see what these new mysterious white envelopes will bring me. Currently I have about 400 dollars. My bills are about 600. How am I supposed to make that much money in less then 2 weeks?That's right. I can't. Unless I sell a organ.

I'm so thankful I have such great parents and that they would help me if I needed it. Which I will now. It sucks that I have made it this far and am now having to ask for help. It's disappointing. The reason my bills are so high is because my new roommate just moved here, in the middle of the month. I'm not going to make her pay the whole half so I charged her a quarter of this months rent, so that leaves me with three quarters of the rent to pay. Why don't I ask my old roommate to pay her half?  Because she will find a way to make me pay and frankly I'm kinda scared of her. I'm just screwed. Plain and simple. Just so you all know minimum wage doesn't get you ANYWHERE. I know it seems like a lot of money when you live with your parents but in reality it isn't. Welcome to starvation Lucy and get used to not going anywhere because you are officially in debt and broke.

Go to college kids.

Sincerely the distressed and broke,
Lucy Sunshine

Journal 1 ( November 23, 2010)

I don't know why my ex roommate, Chloe, is so worried about getting her name off the lease. I mean I know she obviously wants to get it done, and so do I. (I rather not remember the glorious days of when she lived here.) But I can only go so fast. She doesn't have a job she only has school and goes partying. I don't know why I keep having to deal with her.

My new roommate, Jessie, just moved in a week or two ago and is still trying to get settled. I've been working my ASS off at work. I just don't have time for the little things. Who ever knew building bears, at build a bear, was so... tiresome? I've been working like 30 hours a week I can't even get to class anymore I'm so tired. I'm failing all my classes which is why I'm turning to online classes. I am completely worried I won't make my bills on time. I hate that my life is so stressful. I think I'm going to have to get a loan to help me out while I'm in college. I hate that I'm going to have to take that route.

Tony's mom wrote to me this morning from Indiana. Most people would think it's weird that I still talk to my ex's mom. When Tony and I were going out we were VERY close. She could be  my mom if I didn't already have one (which I love dearly). Anyways she's coming to visit Tony for thanksgiving and she wanted to see me as well. (She told me she's going to bring me pie! I love pie)

I had to break the news that maybe seeing each other wouldn't be a good idea considering Tony and I's situation. I told her were not getting along and that he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Which I was fine with but still. It's sad we've gone through so much and it had to end like this. Not like I never thought this day would happen though. Tony's mom understood but she said she would still come and see me since I live so close. I was so happy to hear that!

Last night Tony called his mom and apparently he was really upset about something. Tony was at a old friends house and Kalib was there. Tony HATES and I mean HATES Kalib. I couldn't tell you why, but he does. I think it has something to do with me, but I'm not entirely sure. When Tony told me not to talk to him again, that was about the time when Kalib and I started talking again. I wanted to give Kalib a chance to get over me, I wanted him to ask me anything he wanted so he was peace at mind. We've continued talking ever since, but I've remained short with him. I don't want to give him the wrong idea. That was also the time Tony and I started.. uhh... doing it again. I always told myself I wouldn't go back to him but I did. I don't know what it is. Aghh, I don't know what to do. Did I screw things up by talking to Kalib again? Maybe Tony and I had a chance? I hate always being in the dark. I guess only time will tell what will happen..

Wish me luck everyone. I'm going to need it.

Questions

1.) Have you ever had a weird ex boyfriend situation? I would like to here your story and how you solved it.

     Tell me what you would do in my situation? Don't forget about reading my story of Tony.

2.) How was your money situation in college?
     How did you solve your money problems?

3.) Pushy ex roommate. What would you do?


Sincerely,
Lucy Love Sunshine.